{"id":8978,"date":"2026-01-23T01:30:42","date_gmt":"2026-01-23T00:30:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/?p=8978"},"modified":"2026-01-26T15:01:19","modified_gmt":"2026-01-26T14:01:19","slug":"how-to-talk-about-bullying-without-making-it-worse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/how-to-talk-about-bullying-without-making-it-worse\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Talk About Bullying Without Making It Worse"},"content":{"rendered":"<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"8978\" class=\"elementor elementor-8978\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5e87ace3 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"5e87ace3\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2cb22618 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2cb22618\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"message-text-content mat-body-medium\" aria-live=\"polite\"><div class=\"ng-star-inserted\"><h1 data-start=\"2430\" data-end=\"2488\">How to talk about bullying without making it worse<\/h1><p data-start=\"2490\" data-end=\"2615\">Bullying talks can go wrong in two common ways.<br data-start=\"2537\" data-end=\"2540\" \/>We may panic and ask too many questions. Or we may downplay it and move on.<\/p><p data-start=\"2617\" data-end=\"2729\">A calmer approach works better. It helps your child feel safe. It also helps you learn what is really happening.<\/p><p data-start=\"2731\" data-end=\"2879\">If bullying or exclusion is the main issue right now, start here: <a href=\"\/en_gb\/bullying-storybook-for-kids-social-exclusion\/\"><strong data-start=\"2797\" data-end=\"2828\">bullying storybook for kids<\/strong> \u2192<\/a><br \/>Quick guide (read this first)<\/p><ul data-start=\"2916\" data-end=\"3076\"><li data-start=\"2916\" data-end=\"2946\"><p data-start=\"2918\" data-end=\"2946\">Start with calm listening.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"2947\" data-end=\"2972\"><p data-start=\"2949\" data-end=\"2972\">Ask simple questions.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"2973\" data-end=\"3007\"><p data-start=\"2975\" data-end=\"3007\">Avoid blame and long speeches.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3008\" data-end=\"3039\"><p data-start=\"3010\" data-end=\"3039\">Make one small safety plan.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3040\" data-end=\"3076\"><p data-start=\"3042\" data-end=\"3076\">Follow up with school when needed.<\/p><\/li><\/ul><hr data-start=\"3078\" data-end=\"3081\" \/><h2 data-start=\"3083\" data-end=\"3132\">Step 1 \u2014 Start with safety, not solutions<\/h2><p data-start=\"3133\" data-end=\"3185\">Your first goal is safety, not a perfect answer.<\/p><p data-start=\"3187\" data-end=\"3204\">Try one sentence:<\/p><ul data-start=\"3205\" data-end=\"3305\"><li data-start=\"3205\" data-end=\"3236\"><p data-start=\"3207\" data-end=\"3236\">\u201cThank you for telling me.\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3237\" data-end=\"3262\"><p data-start=\"3239\" data-end=\"3262\">\u201cI am here with you.\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3263\" data-end=\"3305\"><p data-start=\"3265\" data-end=\"3305\">\u201cYou did the right thing by telling me.\u201d<\/p><\/li><\/ul><p data-start=\"3307\" data-end=\"3313\">Avoid:<\/p><ul data-start=\"3314\" data-end=\"3399\"><li data-start=\"3314\" data-end=\"3343\"><p data-start=\"3316\" data-end=\"3343\">\u201cWhy didn\u2019t you stop it?\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3344\" data-end=\"3399\"><p data-start=\"3346\" data-end=\"3399\">\u201cWhat did you do first?\u201d<br data-start=\"3370\" data-end=\"3373\" \/>These can feel like blame.<\/p><\/li><\/ul><hr data-start=\"3401\" data-end=\"3404\" \/><h2 data-start=\"3406\" data-end=\"3464\">Step 2 \u2014 Ask questions that do not increase stress<\/h2><p data-start=\"3465\" data-end=\"3504\">Use short questions. Ask one at a time.<\/p><p data-start=\"3506\" data-end=\"3521\">Good questions:<\/p><ul data-start=\"3522\" data-end=\"3650\"><li data-start=\"3522\" data-end=\"3542\"><p data-start=\"3524\" data-end=\"3542\">\u201cWhat happened?\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3543\" data-end=\"3569\"><p data-start=\"3545\" data-end=\"3569\">\u201cWhere did it happen?\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3570\" data-end=\"3590\"><p data-start=\"3572\" data-end=\"3590\">\u201cWho was there?\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3591\" data-end=\"3622\"><p data-start=\"3593\" data-end=\"3622\">\u201cHow often does it happen?\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3623\" data-end=\"3650\"><p data-start=\"3625\" data-end=\"3650\">\u201cDo you feel safe today?\u201d<\/p><\/li><\/ul><p data-start=\"3652\" data-end=\"3680\">Questions to avoid at first:<\/p><ul data-start=\"3681\" data-end=\"3768\"><li data-start=\"3681\" data-end=\"3708\"><p data-start=\"3683\" data-end=\"3708\">\u201cWhy do they hate you?\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3709\" data-end=\"3768\"><p data-start=\"3711\" data-end=\"3768\">\u201cWhat is wrong with them?\u201d<br data-start=\"3737\" data-end=\"3740\" \/>These create fear and anger.<\/p><\/li><\/ul><hr data-start=\"3770\" data-end=\"3773\" \/><h2 data-start=\"3775\" data-end=\"3833\">Step 3 \u2014 Validate feelings, then name the behavior<\/h2><p data-start=\"3834\" data-end=\"3895\">Children need their feelings recognized before they can plan.<\/p><p data-start=\"3897\" data-end=\"3901\">Try:<\/p><ul data-start=\"3902\" data-end=\"4050\"><li data-start=\"3902\" data-end=\"3928\"><p data-start=\"3904\" data-end=\"3928\">\u201cThat sounds hurtful.\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3929\" data-end=\"3979\"><p data-start=\"3931\" data-end=\"3979\">\u201cIt makes sense you feel upset.\u201d<br data-start=\"3963\" data-end=\"3966\" \/>Then name it:<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"3980\" data-end=\"4009\"><p data-start=\"3982\" data-end=\"4009\">\u201cBeing teased is not OK.\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"4010\" data-end=\"4050\"><p data-start=\"4012\" data-end=\"4050\">\u201cBeing left out on purpose is not OK.\u201d<\/p><\/li><\/ul><hr data-start=\"4052\" data-end=\"4055\" \/><h2 data-start=\"4057\" data-end=\"4129\">Step 4 \u2014 Do not coach \u201cmore talking\u201d when the child feels unsafe<\/h2><p data-start=\"4130\" data-end=\"4216\">Many parents say: \u201cJust tell them to stop.\u201d<br data-start=\"4173\" data-end=\"4176\" \/>That can work sometimes, but not always.<\/p><p data-start=\"4218\" data-end=\"4242\">Teach a simple sequence:<\/p><ol data-start=\"4243\" data-end=\"4367\"><li data-start=\"4243\" data-end=\"4270\"><p data-start=\"4246\" data-end=\"4270\">Pause (one breath)<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"4271\" data-end=\"4310\"><p data-start=\"4274\" data-end=\"4310\">Say one calm boundary sentence<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"4311\" data-end=\"4339\"><p data-start=\"4314\" data-end=\"4339\">Go to a safer place<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"4340\" data-end=\"4367\"><p data-start=\"4343\" data-end=\"4367\">Tell a trusted adult<\/p><\/li><\/ol><p data-start=\"4369\" data-end=\"4401\">One boundary sentence is enough:<\/p><ul data-start=\"4402\" data-end=\"4468\"><li data-start=\"4402\" data-end=\"4432\"><p data-start=\"4404\" data-end=\"4432\">\u201cStop. I don\u2019t like that.\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"4433\" data-end=\"4468\"><p data-start=\"4435\" data-end=\"4468\">\u201cNo. I am not playing this game.\u201d<\/p><\/li><\/ul><p data-start=\"4470\" data-end=\"4550\">If the child feels unsafe, the best next step is to move away and tell an adult.<\/p><hr data-start=\"4552\" data-end=\"4555\" \/><h2 data-start=\"4557\" data-end=\"4610\">Step 5 \u2014 Make a \u201csmall plan\u201d for the next day<\/h2><p data-start=\"4611\" data-end=\"4634\">A plan reduces anxiety.<\/p><p data-start=\"4636\" data-end=\"4673\">Choose one plan that fits your child:<\/p><ul data-start=\"4674\" data-end=\"4808\"><li data-start=\"4674\" data-end=\"4696\"><p data-start=\"4676\" data-end=\"4696\">Walk with a buddy.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"4697\" data-end=\"4730\"><p data-start=\"4699\" data-end=\"4730\">Stay near an adult at recess.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"4731\" data-end=\"4767\"><p data-start=\"4733\" data-end=\"4767\">Choose a smaller group activity.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"4768\" data-end=\"4808\"><p data-start=\"4770\" data-end=\"4808\">Agree on one person to tell at school.<\/p><\/li><\/ul><p data-start=\"4810\" data-end=\"4842\">Write down the plan in one line:<\/p><ul data-start=\"4843\" data-end=\"4892\"><li data-start=\"4843\" data-end=\"4892\"><p data-start=\"4845\" data-end=\"4892\">\u201cIf it happens, I will go to ___ and tell ___.\u201d<\/p><\/li><\/ul><hr data-start=\"4894\" data-end=\"4897\" \/><h2 data-start=\"4899\" data-end=\"4977\">Step 6 \u2014 Talk to the school when it is repeated, unsafe, or escalating<\/h2><p data-start=\"4978\" data-end=\"5009\">Contact the school promptly if:<\/p><ul data-start=\"5010\" data-end=\"5137\"><li data-start=\"5010\" data-end=\"5036\"><p data-start=\"5012\" data-end=\"5036\">It happens many times.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"5037\" data-end=\"5076\"><p data-start=\"5039\" data-end=\"5076\">There are threats or physical harm.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"5077\" data-end=\"5105\"><p data-start=\"5079\" data-end=\"5105\">Your child feels unsafe.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"5106\" data-end=\"5137\"><p data-start=\"5108\" data-end=\"5137\">Online messages are involved.<\/p><\/li><\/ul><p data-start=\"5139\" data-end=\"5154\">Keep it simple:<\/p><ul data-start=\"5155\" data-end=\"5255\"><li data-start=\"5155\" data-end=\"5173\"><p data-start=\"5157\" data-end=\"5173\">What happened.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"5174\" data-end=\"5193\"><p data-start=\"5176\" data-end=\"5193\">When and where.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"5194\" data-end=\"5255\"><p data-start=\"5196\" data-end=\"5255\">What you want next (a safety plan, supervision, follow-up).<\/p><\/li><\/ul><hr data-start=\"5257\" data-end=\"5260\" \/><h2 data-start=\"5262\" data-end=\"5302\">What not to do (common mistakes)<\/h2><ul data-start=\"5303\" data-end=\"5498\"><li data-start=\"5303\" data-end=\"5351\"><p data-start=\"5305\" data-end=\"5351\">Do not force your child to \u201csolve it alone.\u201d<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"5352\" data-end=\"5407\"><p data-start=\"5354\" data-end=\"5407\">Do not confront the other child directly at pickup.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"5408\" data-end=\"5456\"><p data-start=\"5410\" data-end=\"5456\">Do not make big promises you cannot control.<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"5457\" data-end=\"5498\"><p data-start=\"5459\" data-end=\"5498\">Do not demand every detail in one talk.<\/p><\/li><\/ul><hr data-start=\"5500\" data-end=\"5503\" \/><h2 data-start=\"5505\" data-end=\"5564\">Use a story to practice calm words and safe choices<\/h2><p data-start=\"5565\" data-end=\"5648\">Stories help children practice in a safe way.<br data-start=\"5610\" data-end=\"5613\" \/>They also give you shared language.<\/p><p data-start=\"5650\" data-end=\"5772\">Explore <a href=\"\/en_gb\/bullying-storybook-for-kids-social-exclusion\/\">the Bullying Topic page -&gt;<\/a>\u00a0<br data-start=\"5731\" data-end=\"5734\" \/><a href=\"\/en_gb\/create-personalized-book\/\">Create your book -&gt;\u00a0<\/a><\/p><p data-start=\"5650\" data-end=\"5772\"><strong data-start=\"5774\" data-end=\"5794\">Related support:<\/strong><\/p><ul data-start=\"5797\" data-end=\"5908\"><li data-start=\"5797\" data-end=\"5850\"><p data-start=\"5799\" data-end=\"5850\"><a href=\"\/en_gb\/personalized-storybook-kindness-empathy\/\">Kindness &amp; Empathy Topic page<\/a> (friendship skills)<\/p><\/li><li data-start=\"5851\" data-end=\"5908\"><p data-start=\"5853\" data-end=\"5908\"><a href=\"\/en_gb\/personalized-storybook-confidence-potential\/\">Confidence &amp; Potential Topic page<\/a> (rebuild self-belief)<\/p><\/li><\/ul><p data-start=\"5910\" data-end=\"6004\"><strong data-start=\"5910\" data-end=\"5958\">Explore more Skills &amp; Challenges storybooks:<\/strong><\/p><p data-start=\"5910\" data-end=\"6004\"><a href=\"\/en_gb\/skills-challenges-personalized-storybooks\/\"><strong data-start=\"5910\" data-end=\"5958\">Click here -&gt;<\/strong><\/a><\/p><hr data-start=\"6472\" data-end=\"6475\" \/><h2 data-start=\"6011\" data-end=\"6022\">FAQ<\/h2><h3 data-start=\"6023\" data-end=\"6180\"><strong data-start=\"6023\" data-end=\"6064\">Q1: What if my child refuses to talk?<\/strong><\/h3><p data-start=\"6023\" data-end=\"6180\">Start with small openings. Try: \u201cWas today easy or hard?\u201d Or talk about the hero in a story first. Keep it short.<\/p><h3 data-start=\"6182\" data-end=\"6354\"><strong data-start=\"6182\" data-end=\"6231\">Q2: What if my child is the one being unkind?<\/strong><\/h3><p data-start=\"6182\" data-end=\"6354\">Stay calm. Focus on repair. Ask: \u201cWhat happened before it?\u201d \u201cHow can we fix it?\u201d Teach kinder choices and adult support.<\/p><h3 data-start=\"6356\" data-end=\"6470\"><strong data-start=\"6356\" data-end=\"6393\">Q3: How often should I follow up?<\/strong><\/h3><p data-start=\"6356\" data-end=\"6470\">Short check-ins work. One question per day is enough. Keep it predictable.<\/p><hr data-start=\"6472\" data-end=\"6475\" \/><p data-start=\"6494\" data-end=\"6646\"><a href=\"\/en_gb\/create-personalized-book\/\"><strong data-start=\"6603\" data-end=\"6623\">Create your book<\/strong> \u2192\u00a0<\/a><\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to talk about bullying without making it worse Bullying talks can go wrong in two common ways.We may panic [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"disabled","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_glsr_average":0,"_glsr_ranking":0,"_glsr_reviews":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"post_folder":[],"class_list":["post-8978","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"acf":[],"contentshake_article_id":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8978","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8978"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8978\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8978"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8978"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8978"},{"taxonomy":"post_folder","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mibooko.com\/en_gb\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/post_folder?post=8978"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}